Our store has a Kodak picture kiosk. For the most part, people understand how to operate the machine and have no problem successfully printing their pictures out. Occasionally I will get a customer that has no understanding of computers what so ever, and so without even trying it on their own first, come get me for help. One day I'm stocking baby formula when I hear my name being paged to the Kodak machine. I'm instantly irritated, because 9 times out of 10 when I get called to the machine, it's to put in a print password that all the checkers up front know. I get up front and see a man standing there.
The man is dressed in camo fatigues, smells like he hasn't bathed in months, and his teeth are rotting out of his head. Not that his appearance really matters, but it just helps paint the picture of what this guy looked like. He tells me that he has 2 memory cards with some pictures on them that he wants enlarged to an 8x10. Enlarging photos has always been a quick and painless process for me, since I've done it so much. However, I come into a little bit of a technical difficulty with this customer's order. A difficulty I should point out has never happened before, and has yet to happen since.
We put the first memory card into the slot and upload the 5 pictures or so that he had saved on it. Because there were only five of them, they all appeared on the screen with no need to scroll onto other pages. They were all of a sunset. They were really beautiful actually. We chose one of the pictures... enlarged it... printed it... onto the next. He inserted the second memory card, which had way more pictures on it than the first one. He said that the sunset pictures would be the last pictures on the card. He didn't know how to scroll through the pictures though, which meant that I had to do it for him.
The first page of pictures were all of a car. I get onto the second page of pictures, more car. The third page was of some people standing around. As I scroll through the pictues I'm trying not to look at them, because they're none of my business, and I want to hurry and finish this guys order because he smells really bad. It's about the fifth or sixth page that I notice something odd. In my defense these pictures in question were right by the arrow at the bottom of the screen that I had been hitting to scroll throught the pictures. So when I am already looking in the bottom right corner to see which button to hit, it's not hard to miss these pictures. They were of a woman, and I don't think I need to go into any sort of detail for people to figure out what part of the woman. I was completely mortified. I hit the right arrow button to get off that page and here is where my technical difficulty comes in. The page froze! Here I am standing next to some really creepy guy looking at his pictures of some womans nether regions, and the computer will not go to the next page of pictures. I keep standing there hitting the button over and over and nothing is happening. Of course enough time has been spent on this page that there is no denying what it is that I'm looking at. And enough time has passed that he knows I've seen his naughty camera work. Neither one of us says a word to the other.
I mean, what can you say in that sort of instance that doesn't make the situation even worse. Finally after a 20 second delay the machine finally catches up and gets to the sunset pictures. I hurry and enlarge his pictures, print them, take him to the lobby to ring him up, and proceed to feel really nausiated for the next hour.
If you must ask what the important lesson was that I learned that fateful day, it was this...always show the customer where the scroll buttons are so they can do it themselves!!!
9.11.2009
9.07.2009
Where's the mail box?
Our store used to have a US Postal Service drop box on the outside corner of the building. We recently noticed that it is missing. When the mail carrier came in to drop off the store's mail I inquired about it. She informed me that it just wasn't getting enough business, so they took it away. A few days later and woman came to the customer service counter to purchase a couple of stamps. I put the stamps on the envelopes that she brought in. She then walked out of the store. She came back in just a few moments later to ask about the missing drop box. I told her what the mail carrier had told me, that it didn't get enough business so they took it away. She rambled on and on about how ridiculous that was for the postal service to do such a thing on account of she mailed 2-3 letters to her boyfriend in jail, at least three times a week. "Surely that must be enough letters for them to keep it here," she said. As I'm wondering how this woman could possibly think that mailing 9 letters a week, at most, would be enough business for them to keep a drop box at the store she says, "I'm a preferred customer at the post office. They should put a drop box off at my house." I don't waste a moment and reply, "They have. It's called your mailbox."
The Best Of: Check Cashing Stories
The following stories are true. The names have been changed to protect the innocent. And because I don't actually know the names of these people.
1. "John" comes in on a Friday morning to see if I can cash his payroll check. I ask him if he's ever cashed a check at the store before. If he hasn't, I have to put in all of his information from his drivers license into a machine. That will then give me a code that I have to put on the face of the check. It would be my luck that he has not cashed a check and I now have to go through the entire process of putting in his information. The first step of this process is actually something that he has to do. I tell him that I need him to put his social security number into a pin pad twice, hitting a green enter key after each time. I end my instructions for him by saying that I will also need to see his ID. I stand there and wait while he tries to put in his social. He hits some wrong buttons and instead of hitting the backspace button, hits the clear button. This starts the entire process over. After finally getting his social in correctly I ask John for his ID. This is where he proceeds to tell me that he doesn't have ID. I hand his check back to him and inform him that without identification I will unable to cash his check. This is where John looses his cool and yells at me that, "This is why I came to the store to cash my check. If I had my ID I would have gone to the bank." I try to explain to him that our store requires me to write his drivers license number on the face of the check. Not to mention that I need to make sure it is actually the person who the check belongs to trying to cash it. He is still adamant that I should cash his check, since we're not a bank. I ended our conversation by saying, "Sir, I understand that we're not a bank, but what sort of rinky dink operation to you think we're running around here?" I haven't seen him since.
2. This next story happened just days after this first story and involves a woman that we will call "Jane." I'm standing at the counter when Jane and her daughter come up for my assistance. She hands me a check and her ID. I ask her if she's cashed checks here before as I hand her the keypad she will need to put her social in. As she's entering the numbers into the keypad I look at the name on the check. Not only is it not her name, but it's a man's name. I ask her whose check this is. Jane tells me that it's her husband's check and that he sent her to the store to cash it for him. I should point out that even though it was her husband's check, her last name didn't match his. Not that this mattered to me much, because as I informed her, I can't cash someones check for them without them being there in person. She ripped the check out of my hand and called me an obscene name. I also haven't seen her in the store since.
3. This last story involves a man that comes into the store on a regular basis. He cashes his social security checks each month. We will refer to him as "Jack." Jack comes up to me and pulls me aside so that no one can hear what we're talking about. He wants to know if his girlfriend can cash his next months social security check, because he is planning a trip to the local jail. Due to the fact that he will be incarcerated for the next month, or possibly more, he wants to okay his girlfriend to cash his check. I have them both write down all their personal information and have him sign it, just to protect myself from any problems that may arise from this little arrangement. Jack comes in about a week later and yells for all the world to hear, "Hey, guess what! I didn't need to go to jail after all."
These are the top three stories of check cashing. Look for more "Best Of" stories to come.
1. "John" comes in on a Friday morning to see if I can cash his payroll check. I ask him if he's ever cashed a check at the store before. If he hasn't, I have to put in all of his information from his drivers license into a machine. That will then give me a code that I have to put on the face of the check. It would be my luck that he has not cashed a check and I now have to go through the entire process of putting in his information. The first step of this process is actually something that he has to do. I tell him that I need him to put his social security number into a pin pad twice, hitting a green enter key after each time. I end my instructions for him by saying that I will also need to see his ID. I stand there and wait while he tries to put in his social. He hits some wrong buttons and instead of hitting the backspace button, hits the clear button. This starts the entire process over. After finally getting his social in correctly I ask John for his ID. This is where he proceeds to tell me that he doesn't have ID. I hand his check back to him and inform him that without identification I will unable to cash his check. This is where John looses his cool and yells at me that, "This is why I came to the store to cash my check. If I had my ID I would have gone to the bank." I try to explain to him that our store requires me to write his drivers license number on the face of the check. Not to mention that I need to make sure it is actually the person who the check belongs to trying to cash it. He is still adamant that I should cash his check, since we're not a bank. I ended our conversation by saying, "Sir, I understand that we're not a bank, but what sort of rinky dink operation to you think we're running around here?" I haven't seen him since.
2. This next story happened just days after this first story and involves a woman that we will call "Jane." I'm standing at the counter when Jane and her daughter come up for my assistance. She hands me a check and her ID. I ask her if she's cashed checks here before as I hand her the keypad she will need to put her social in. As she's entering the numbers into the keypad I look at the name on the check. Not only is it not her name, but it's a man's name. I ask her whose check this is. Jane tells me that it's her husband's check and that he sent her to the store to cash it for him. I should point out that even though it was her husband's check, her last name didn't match his. Not that this mattered to me much, because as I informed her, I can't cash someones check for them without them being there in person. She ripped the check out of my hand and called me an obscene name. I also haven't seen her in the store since.
3. This last story involves a man that comes into the store on a regular basis. He cashes his social security checks each month. We will refer to him as "Jack." Jack comes up to me and pulls me aside so that no one can hear what we're talking about. He wants to know if his girlfriend can cash his next months social security check, because he is planning a trip to the local jail. Due to the fact that he will be incarcerated for the next month, or possibly more, he wants to okay his girlfriend to cash his check. I have them both write down all their personal information and have him sign it, just to protect myself from any problems that may arise from this little arrangement. Jack comes in about a week later and yells for all the world to hear, "Hey, guess what! I didn't need to go to jail after all."
These are the top three stories of check cashing. Look for more "Best Of" stories to come.
6.14.2009
What's the lottery up to?
As stated in my opening post, I work at a customer service counter in a grocery store. One of the many things that I am responsible for is selling lottery tickets. Now, my state has several games that are played, and of course one of them is Powerball. I had never played the lottery before I entered into this line of work. In fact, the only time I play now is when I buy a mistake ticket. Because I am a retailer for the lottery, I of course should know how the games work and be able to explain the rules to my customers. Occasionally though, I get a woman like this, who if she did win, could really use a new brain.
I was standing at the counter updating the lottery board, which tells people what the winning numbers are and what the jackpots are up to. This woman comes up to the counter just as I'm hanging the board back up. "What's the Powerball?" she asks me. I explain to her how it's played. Then she wants to know what the jackpot is up to. After explaining all of this I ask her if she would like to purchase a ticket. She stops and thinks really hard about it and finally says, "Well, what if I win?" What if I win? What kind of question is that? I mean, if you win, you get lots of money. How hard is that right? Apparently it's pretty hard. I answered back something simple like, "You could buy a house and give money to charity. I guess you could do whatever you want, since you'd be a multi-millionaire." She then says that she'll take a ticket. I ask her if she would like to pick her own numbers or let the computer pick for her. She decides at first to pick her own numbers. I let her know how high the white ball numbers and power ball numbers go, and get ready to input her numbers. She starts out by giving me a number that's way too high, so I stop her and again tell her how high the numbers go up to. She again gives me a number that is too high. I finally said, "Maybe we should try a quick pick and just let the computer generate a ticket." She agrees. I hand her the ticket, take her money and wish her luck.
Three days later the same woman comes back to the counter. She again asks me how to play Powerball. I get a little frustrated that she is asking me again, when I just told her three days before. I give her the brief rundown and ask her if she wants a ticket. She does, so I get her a quick pick. (There's no way I'm going to try and let her pick her own numbers again.) I hand her a ticket and take her money, wishing her luck as I do.
The woman who has now been to me twice to buy lottery comes up a third time to buy a ticket. She's getting better at understanding how things work, so she just hands me a dollar and tells me that she wants a quick pick. I'm relieved because she's finally getting it. I hand her the ticket and wish her good luck. This happens on one more occasion, so that now I've sold her a total of four tickets over the course of two weeks.
Now I should stop here to say that every customer that buys lottery, I try and wish good luck. The store that I work at requires us to use friendly greetings and partings. How much friendlier can you get than wishing someone good luck, right? I don't always say good luck though, and here is the mistake in doing so.
This same woman hands me the ticket that she had purchased for the last drawing that was held. This is the first ticket that she has brought to me to check if it's a winner, so I have no clue that she has won her dollar back on the first three tickets in a row that I had sold her. I scan the bar code at the bottom of the ticket and then inform her that it says, "Sorry, not a winner." I toss the ticket in the trash and ask her if she'd like another one. She just stands there looking at me like I've just run over her cat. I ask her if there's a problem. She lets me know right away that there is a problem. "The first three times I came in here to get a lottery ticket from you, you wished me luck and I won my money back...every time. This last time I came in you didn't wish me luck and now look, I have a losing ticket. This is all your fault." I of course assume that she's just kidding with me, but she is really convincing at being angry. I apologize for having not wished her good luck and then smiled politely at her. Her scowl stayed put. I again asked if she would like another ticket. She says, "You also told me that I had the winning ticket. I asked you if this was the winning one and you said that it was." Now, I never come right out and tell people this is the winning ticket. I know better than that. But occasionally a customer will say, "Now this is the winning ticket, right?" And to humor them and go along with the joke I will say something like, "Well, I hope so...I have a good feeling about this one...or possibly." I'm not going to argue with this woman on my exact wording though, because at this point I still believe her to be somewhat kidding around with me. She instead proceeds to get irate with me because I had told her that it was the winning ticket when it wasn't. I finally understand that she is completely serious and say, "Ma'am if I had the power to pick the winning lottery ticket, do you honestly think I would be standing here selling tickets? No, I would be off on a permanent vacation somewhere far away from here." You could almost see the lights flick on inside her head as she realized that I had no control over the lottery. She just gave me a dollar, took a new ticket and walked away. But not before making me wish her luck.
I have no idea if she's on another winning streak or not. Frankly, I could care less. But I make sure of two things when I see this woman. 1. I will never ever, ever even slightly joke that she might have a winning ticket. 2. I will always wish her good luck. Because if she doesn't win, I don't think I could put myself through another ridiculous discussion with her on why me not wishing her good luck has been the ruin of her millions.
I was standing at the counter updating the lottery board, which tells people what the winning numbers are and what the jackpots are up to. This woman comes up to the counter just as I'm hanging the board back up. "What's the Powerball?" she asks me. I explain to her how it's played. Then she wants to know what the jackpot is up to. After explaining all of this I ask her if she would like to purchase a ticket. She stops and thinks really hard about it and finally says, "Well, what if I win?" What if I win? What kind of question is that? I mean, if you win, you get lots of money. How hard is that right? Apparently it's pretty hard. I answered back something simple like, "You could buy a house and give money to charity. I guess you could do whatever you want, since you'd be a multi-millionaire." She then says that she'll take a ticket. I ask her if she would like to pick her own numbers or let the computer pick for her. She decides at first to pick her own numbers. I let her know how high the white ball numbers and power ball numbers go, and get ready to input her numbers. She starts out by giving me a number that's way too high, so I stop her and again tell her how high the numbers go up to. She again gives me a number that is too high. I finally said, "Maybe we should try a quick pick and just let the computer generate a ticket." She agrees. I hand her the ticket, take her money and wish her luck.
Three days later the same woman comes back to the counter. She again asks me how to play Powerball. I get a little frustrated that she is asking me again, when I just told her three days before. I give her the brief rundown and ask her if she wants a ticket. She does, so I get her a quick pick. (There's no way I'm going to try and let her pick her own numbers again.) I hand her a ticket and take her money, wishing her luck as I do.
The woman who has now been to me twice to buy lottery comes up a third time to buy a ticket. She's getting better at understanding how things work, so she just hands me a dollar and tells me that she wants a quick pick. I'm relieved because she's finally getting it. I hand her the ticket and wish her good luck. This happens on one more occasion, so that now I've sold her a total of four tickets over the course of two weeks.
Now I should stop here to say that every customer that buys lottery, I try and wish good luck. The store that I work at requires us to use friendly greetings and partings. How much friendlier can you get than wishing someone good luck, right? I don't always say good luck though, and here is the mistake in doing so.
This same woman hands me the ticket that she had purchased for the last drawing that was held. This is the first ticket that she has brought to me to check if it's a winner, so I have no clue that she has won her dollar back on the first three tickets in a row that I had sold her. I scan the bar code at the bottom of the ticket and then inform her that it says, "Sorry, not a winner." I toss the ticket in the trash and ask her if she'd like another one. She just stands there looking at me like I've just run over her cat. I ask her if there's a problem. She lets me know right away that there is a problem. "The first three times I came in here to get a lottery ticket from you, you wished me luck and I won my money back...every time. This last time I came in you didn't wish me luck and now look, I have a losing ticket. This is all your fault." I of course assume that she's just kidding with me, but she is really convincing at being angry. I apologize for having not wished her good luck and then smiled politely at her. Her scowl stayed put. I again asked if she would like another ticket. She says, "You also told me that I had the winning ticket. I asked you if this was the winning one and you said that it was." Now, I never come right out and tell people this is the winning ticket. I know better than that. But occasionally a customer will say, "Now this is the winning ticket, right?" And to humor them and go along with the joke I will say something like, "Well, I hope so...I have a good feeling about this one...or possibly." I'm not going to argue with this woman on my exact wording though, because at this point I still believe her to be somewhat kidding around with me. She instead proceeds to get irate with me because I had told her that it was the winning ticket when it wasn't. I finally understand that she is completely serious and say, "Ma'am if I had the power to pick the winning lottery ticket, do you honestly think I would be standing here selling tickets? No, I would be off on a permanent vacation somewhere far away from here." You could almost see the lights flick on inside her head as she realized that I had no control over the lottery. She just gave me a dollar, took a new ticket and walked away. But not before making me wish her luck.
I have no idea if she's on another winning streak or not. Frankly, I could care less. But I make sure of two things when I see this woman. 1. I will never ever, ever even slightly joke that she might have a winning ticket. 2. I will always wish her good luck. Because if she doesn't win, I don't think I could put myself through another ridiculous discussion with her on why me not wishing her good luck has been the ruin of her millions.
5.25.2009
Introductions
This is my first blog post, so I find it fitting to introduce myself. My name is Lisa, and I am the customer service counter supervisor at the local grocery store. I've been in this position since May of '07, and since then have amassed quite a few ridiculous stories. I've decided to start sharing my stories with anyone who cares to read them. Some of them will be funny, some upsetting, but mostly they will show just how idiotic people can be. Enjoy.
I live in a small town. Every May we have a festival called the Apple Blossom Festival. There's an arrangement of activities spanned over a five day period involving many people in the community. We have a car show, a pie eating contest, a cute baby contest, live music, and a parade. The most exciting thing about this festival, however, is the carnival that comes to town.
People drive from all over to walk through the carnival, ride the rides, and eat the food that they will then walk across the street into my store and proceed to vomit back up onto the floor. Tickets to the carnival are a bit pricey, so to help out those not wanting to spend exorbitant amounts of money, the city's Chamber of Commerce offers advance ticket sales for a discount. This year the tickets went for a whopping $20.00 each. This offers an all-day ride pass and a credit towards food and games. If you wait and buy your tickets at the gate, it will be $30.00 There are several places in town that you can buy the advance tickets, and my store just happens to be one of those places.
The stipulation for advance ticket retailers is that we can no longer sell the advance tickets once the carnival opens (hence the term "advance tickets"). So for two weeks before the carnival opens we sell the tickets. As always we have some people wandering into the store in search of discount tickets after the carnival has already opened. This year we put up a sign on the counter stating "Out of tickets." I suppose a better sign would have been, "Out of tickets, can only get them at the gate, quit asking!" I don't think it would have mattered much to this guy though...
I had been in the office working on paper work when I hear my name being paged to the customer service counter. I hurry up front to find a man waiting for me. As I get closer I notice that he has our sign about the carnival tickets in his hand. As I take my spot behind the counter he begins to frantically wave the sign in my face. Bear in mind that this man is an English speaking man, and can read signs, therefore has no excuse for his next move. As I ask "Can I help you?" He says, "Yeah, do you guys have any more of these carnival tickets?" I couldn't believe what I was being asked. I felt like that Bill Engvall guys who has that "Here's Your Sign" song. I wanted to say something sarcastic, but was so annoyed that he had read the sign stating that we were out of tickets, and still let someone call me up front to ask me a question that he already knew the answer to. When I told him no, and explained that he could only get the tickets at the gate he asked me, "Are you sure?" When I assured him that I was sure we had no more left, he looked at me like "If I stare at you long enough you will cough up a ticket for me." I just turned and walked to the other end of the counter and waited for him to leave.
This is just one of the many things that I look forward to when the Apple Blossom Festival comes to town. Thankfully it's gone for this year, and I have a whole 51 more weeks to go before I have to start dealing with the carnival tickets. I wish I could say it would be that long before I deal with another idiotic customer, but unfortunately it's not.
Which is why I've started this blog.
I live in a small town. Every May we have a festival called the Apple Blossom Festival. There's an arrangement of activities spanned over a five day period involving many people in the community. We have a car show, a pie eating contest, a cute baby contest, live music, and a parade. The most exciting thing about this festival, however, is the carnival that comes to town.
People drive from all over to walk through the carnival, ride the rides, and eat the food that they will then walk across the street into my store and proceed to vomit back up onto the floor. Tickets to the carnival are a bit pricey, so to help out those not wanting to spend exorbitant amounts of money, the city's Chamber of Commerce offers advance ticket sales for a discount. This year the tickets went for a whopping $20.00 each. This offers an all-day ride pass and a credit towards food and games. If you wait and buy your tickets at the gate, it will be $30.00 There are several places in town that you can buy the advance tickets, and my store just happens to be one of those places.
The stipulation for advance ticket retailers is that we can no longer sell the advance tickets once the carnival opens (hence the term "advance tickets"). So for two weeks before the carnival opens we sell the tickets. As always we have some people wandering into the store in search of discount tickets after the carnival has already opened. This year we put up a sign on the counter stating "Out of tickets." I suppose a better sign would have been, "Out of tickets, can only get them at the gate, quit asking!" I don't think it would have mattered much to this guy though...
I had been in the office working on paper work when I hear my name being paged to the customer service counter. I hurry up front to find a man waiting for me. As I get closer I notice that he has our sign about the carnival tickets in his hand. As I take my spot behind the counter he begins to frantically wave the sign in my face. Bear in mind that this man is an English speaking man, and can read signs, therefore has no excuse for his next move. As I ask "Can I help you?" He says, "Yeah, do you guys have any more of these carnival tickets?" I couldn't believe what I was being asked. I felt like that Bill Engvall guys who has that "Here's Your Sign" song. I wanted to say something sarcastic, but was so annoyed that he had read the sign stating that we were out of tickets, and still let someone call me up front to ask me a question that he already knew the answer to. When I told him no, and explained that he could only get the tickets at the gate he asked me, "Are you sure?" When I assured him that I was sure we had no more left, he looked at me like "If I stare at you long enough you will cough up a ticket for me." I just turned and walked to the other end of the counter and waited for him to leave.
This is just one of the many things that I look forward to when the Apple Blossom Festival comes to town. Thankfully it's gone for this year, and I have a whole 51 more weeks to go before I have to start dealing with the carnival tickets. I wish I could say it would be that long before I deal with another idiotic customer, but unfortunately it's not.
Which is why I've started this blog.
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